The Weeklyish Podcast

Our podcast lasted exactly one week on a regular schedule. Kudos to us: the first of many irregularities. For more information on the Weekly Podcast: see #5 under the Rules of Engagement.

Ivan Drago's questions for Oil Can:

1) Our petition to rally support for Cuban might be the worst grass roots effort in the history of the world (I feel like a PR consultant for the Exxon Valdez). What's our next move: a) admit that nobody cares about our putrid existence b) double our efforts c) contact Cuban directly or d) go back to combing the desert?

To be honest, the lack of support for Project Cuban sent me into a tailspin, a la Maverick and Goose from Top Gun. I was borderline manic depressive and needed to collect my emotions before returning to the Blogoshpere. I believe that we went after the wrong demographic and it has since occurred to me that we should forgo any further attempt to rally the troops (i.e. the 5 people who read this) and stop any further talk about Cuban owning the Cubs. Put simply, it's not going to happen. He won't get a fair shot, and now we will be stuck with some dudes who made a bunch of money investing other peoples money, and whose hobbies include licking Bud Selig's and Jerry Reinsdorf's old, wrinkly nut sacks. The Cubs will forever be owned by people or groups who don't know what the hell they are doing and will not win a World Series in my lifetime (range: 1 minute up to 69 years). Go Tribe.

2) The Patriots are now less than even-money to win the Super Bowl on TradeSports. Meanwhile, the Colts are over 7-1. I know the Colts are banged up, and the road to the Super Bowl means playoff games in New England, but am I the only one who thinks these odds are a little skewed?

Yeah, you probably are. Put some money on the Colts, but look out for those Cowboys who may give you some better odds. As for me, I proclaim the Pats go 19-0, and win the Super Bowl. Average margin of victory from here on out, 17 points.

3) On the heels of Roy Williams foray into pizza delivery, who do you think would make the most tips as a deliveryman: Williams, Chad Johnson, or T.O.? Out of those three, who's the most likely to kill a customer on the job?

I guess TO would pull in more tips from the ladies, cause the dude is ripped to all hell. The whole Philadelphia driveway incident made me feel really bad about the way that I look in the mirror. I'm approaching StayPuff marshmellow status, and TO is approaching This is Sparta! status. He would rake in tips from the ladies.

I would probably have to go with TO for part duex also. He might accidentally slip some pills onto a pizza and cause an inadvertant customer overdose. Definitely wouldn't trust TO with my 'za.

4) What do you make of Martina Hingis' positive cocaine test during Wimbledon (which Hingis claims is inaccurate)? In all seriousness, Hingis would be one of my "top five least likely users of coca paste" in all of sports. Go on, I dare you, name five people that are less likely users. FYI, don't start your mental checklist
with the Cowboys or Pacers.

I nearly did a centuple take after hearing that blurb for the first time on ESPN. My first word was, 'Que?' I mean seriously, what was Hingis doing, banging rails off of Sergio's abs? This was absolutely one of the most shocking headlines of the year. Waiting for Chris Berman to throw out, Martina "Medellin" Hingis. I wonder if she was doing Bob White with her mom? I guess that would be kind of cool.

Five less likely users of nose candy:

1) Tiger Woods
2) Lance Armstrong
3) Tom Maled
4) Ryan Massey
5) Tony Montana

Oil Can's questions for Ivan Drago:

1) You hazed me after I stated that if Eric Gordon ends up being 75% of what Kevin Durant was, the Hoosiers will go to the Final Four. I looked at the numbers, and I've seen Eric Gordon play a game, finally. Want to reconsider? The dude is LEGIT, and he'll be the number one pick next year (sorry Hoosier fans).

Simmer down fool. I’m on board with Gordon. I’m just not willing to throw out Durant comparisons (for all the obvious reasons).

Durant was arguably the best collegiate player in twenty years (going back to David Robinson). Durant averaged 26 pts, 11 boards, 2 blocks, and earned All-Defensive team honors in the Big 12 -- while playing 36 minutes puurrrr game and committing a meager two fouls. PLUS, Durant elevated his game when it mattered. How about his 37/10/6/6 performance against the Jayhawks in the Big 12 Final. Need I say it: “redonkulous.”

Meanwhile Gordon is a 6 foot 3” shooting guard with one game of collegiate experience (against mighty Chattanooga). 1st pick in the draft? Brotha please. Put the Gordon parade on hold and treat yourself to a Lunesta (for everyone's sake).

2) On a scale of 1-10, while knowing that my Fantasy Football squad is 9 - 1, how awesome was my trade: Brian Griese for Steven Jackson? Dare I say, highway robbery?

The steam in my FF cauldron could blow an 800-lb iron lid through the roof: that’s how irate I am with this season.

My FF team has scored 80 points more than yours and 200 more than 60% of the league. Yet somehow you’re 9 – 1, and I’m 6 – 4 (in 4th place). Translation: every week you manage to play either 1) a team with half their players on bye or 2) a hung-over manager who can’t figure out who’s hurt/playing on Sunday. Seriously, how many weeks do I have to stare at StatTracker as you play an incomplete team?

Meanwhile, every cart donkey in the league (i.e. Damon Huard) explodes for 30 pts against me. Why? Because the world hates me.

I hope Steven Jackson gets caught doing lines with Martina Hingis.

3) With visual representation, who are the top 5 NBA teams'....cheerleading/dance squads? I love me some Laker girls.

#1: The Mavs. Our buddy Brent works for Cuban down in Dallas. He has referenced the Mavs dance team before; now I see why. The risqué click through pics make them worthy of the #1 slot. My personal favorite: Natasha (now that's a chair I'd like to sit in).

#2: The Suns. These girls are a not-so-subtle reminder that we need to blog from the Phoenix Open next year. A PGA tourney + a huge party + warm weather in February = dios mio. If the Suns' dance squad is on "the hill" at the 16th, I might need a relocation package. My personal favorite: Kaytie (how can I argue with that spelling).

#3: The Laker Girls. The league’s golden standard, but I honestly think they belong in the #3 slot. My personal favorite: Allison (always had a thing for the smart ones).

#4: The Miami Heat. Love the be-bop background music, followed by Michael Jackson moaning, and then a “swoosh” sound every time you click on a dancer. My personal favorite: Katherine (nice six pack).

#5: The Luvabulls. Best name in the league and worthy of the final spot for representing the windy city (nothing like a little home cooking). My personal favorite: Marianne (self-explanatory).

4) Keeping my answer to one of your questions in mind. The Cubs just dealt Jacque Jones (.285/ 5 HR/ 66 RBI) for.......Omar Infante (.271/ 2 HR/ 17 RBI), another utility infielder that plays 1st, 2nd, SS, 3rd, 4th, RF, LF, and Catcher.

What are your thoughts on that?

I’m sure you’re pleased with this trade as it's likely to free up playing time for one of your man crushes, Felix Pie.

Here's my take on Pie: he can’t hit a lick.

Your take on Pie: he’s young and he’s got spunk.

What everyone should be thinking: spunk is for Punky Brewster.

Granted, I was never a big fan of Jacque Jones either. JJ's annual walk-to-strikeout ratio is a crash course in “fractions that need to be inverted.” Meanwhile, Infante also appears to have a hammer-lock on whiffs at the plate. This trade may be an exercise in cloning.

The relevant part of the deal is the $$$: shipping JJ should give the Cubs more dinero for another arm. The trade mentions that the Cubs will “include cash in the deal to defray some of Jones’ salary.” Jones salary will be $5.6M in ’08 and Infante figures to make $2Mish next year. With the Cubs handing over an undisclosed sweetener, they’ll probably end up with $3Mish to use in the open market.

I’m down with the trade if it leads to other acquisitions.....or if the extra $3M keeps my Wrigley Field nachos at a reasonable price.