Oil Can, Ivan, thanks for the intro and the invite. Usually it's only the whiskey smelling Santa Claus look alike bellied up to the bar that listens to my sports rants. Now I have...Well, it's a start.
As a lifelong sports fan, I am used to the cyclical nature of the beast. I followed the Yankees and Colts when they had no right having fans, and laugh at the state of their individual fandom's now. I grew up devouring the NBA, how could I not with Bird, Magic, MJ, and the dynamic duo of Spud Webb and Mugsy Bougues. What can I say, they made me happy. I even, having been named for a hockey player, chose to waste time (mainly during the playoffs). Watching and attending hockey games with passion and verve.
But now, oh but now. The leagues are falling apart. True, the NFL is on top of the world, right now. But they look an awful lot to me like the NBA did in the late 80's early 90's. Clamoring for expansion that will only dilute an already thinning talent pool (Vinny Testaverde? Really?), playing regular season games outside the country (the Giants have looked GREAT after their
trip to LONDON!), player controversy (R.I.P. Sean Taylor), and freaking Bill Bellechick. None of that bodes well for the NFL.
MLB has somehow (shoddy management by owners, numerous scandals, work stoppages and an inability to be fluid in changing technological times) managed to plunge America's Pastime into a droll affair so badly in danger of losing an entire generation that they hired DANE COOK to shill the playoffs. I repeat: The season ending, drama producing, fervor inducing playoffs of our nations past time needed a comedian that the owners (who in my mind look like the floating heads from the beginning of Superman: The Movie) thought was still hip, even though his relevance lasted only slightly longer than Kerry Woods (sorry guys), to bring in what amounted to middling ratings.
And the NBA? Really? They still play? Did you see the numbers for last years finals? And talk about player problems! I mean the Detroit Bad Boys of my youth were nothing compared to the Jailblazers or the freaking Pacers. E tu, Isaiah? Can you think of an example, in any arena, where someone had their foot in the Pantheon of immortality, and then proceeded to attempt to tear that very arena down brick by brick, with every breath they took? Oh, right. I forgot about Britney Spears.
I will not even start on the NHL. What the F@$& is the Versus network?
Anyway, I don't believe in pointing out problems unless you have solutions at the ready, so hear are three leagues I propose to fill the voids of what we have now:
1. The National Beer Pong League: I saw this on YouTube http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1789844 , so I can't take total credit. But I thought that a unifying body, bring beer pong and Beirut players together would be a good thing in this time of strife and derision in our country. Plus, you know there are ad dollars in this thing. From Beer
companies, Table makers, Ping Pong Accesory makers and dealers, to party cup manufacturers.
2. Kick The Can League: This has all of the earmarks of a fantastic league, and ripe for TV (which is huge). If you aren't familiar, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kick_the_can
Think about the possiblilities. There can be differnet venues; domes, outdoors, fields, forests, urban. Weather could play a huge factor. People could develop specialties, therefore endearing an entire fan base. Imagine a scenario where the leagues all time reigning "IT" guards a can that is the key to twenty other players freedom, and lurking in the shadows is the rookie speedster sensation, who is about to break the single season record for kicking the can. Vegas would love this. Side bets galore.
Think about the possiblilities. There can be differnet venues; domes, outdoors, fields, forests, urban. Weather could play a huge factor. People could develop specialties, therefore endearing an entire fan base. Imagine a scenario where the leagues all time reigning "IT" guards a can that is the key to twenty other players freedom, and lurking in the shadows is the rookie speedster sensation, who is about to break the single season record for kicking the can. Vegas would love this. Side bets galore.
3. The Euchre League: I am sick of having to ask "Do you play Euchre?" This would take the game to the masses.If you can televise poker, you can televise Euchre. The team element can bring all kinds of drama. You can have tournaments or single matches. And most importantly, Vegas would love it.
Sorry for the salt, but that's what this is for right? I look forward to furthering the debate and
the threat of further podcasts.
1 comment:
The new leagues you propose are genius and have exponential potential...may i suggest:
1. For the Beer Pong league, having a "Light" division which would include beers such as Naty-light, Coors light,Bud-Light, Amstel light,Keystone Light.. etc etc.
Also, a "Heavyweight" division including such beers as: Guiness, german beers that end in "lagen" or "Weis", etc etc
2. Kick the Can League: I propose no wearing of any steel-toed shoes or boots and furthermore no one plays barefoot or in sandals (this may cause unnecessary lawsuits) Also, along with different venues playing at night would be a great option (preferably on full-moons) to add to the suspense and help promote stealthy tactics.
3. There are actually people that don't know how to play Euchre??!!! May i suggest them for the Deportation list, especially if they are from Indiana.
..Hoffman Out
Post a Comment