Nuggets from Day 1 of the MLB Playoffs....

1) What the **** are the playoffs doing on TBS?

2) Steve Stone’s voice coming at me from Fenway is wrong on so many levels. Plus, it was visually evident that Stone had never worn a suit before (a pinched nerve is probable by Game 3). Give the man a Cubs shirt and let him do play-by-play for the Cubs/Dbacks series from Cheers. Guaranteed to bump ratings.

3) Speaking of the Cubs game, Dick Stockton and Ron Darling? Who’s doing Game 2, Marv Albert and Frank Viola?

4) Every time Dick Stockton starts talking I have a Kurt Rambis flashback.

5) If we’re going to put up with TBS, I find it inexcusable that Barkley isn’t involved. Here’s a potential CB quote: “I’ve been watching baseball for all of ten minutes now, and I can tell you one thing: Bob Howry is no Jeff Hornacek."

6) Did Chone Figgins moonlight as a munchkin in the Wizard of Oz?

7) I'm waiting on DNA evidence to prove that Alfonso Soriano is a full-brother to Pedro Sorrano from Major League ("Bats, they are sick. Cannot hit curveball. Straightball, hit it very much. Curveball, bats are afraid. I ask Jobu to come, take fear from bats. I offer him cigar, rum. He will come.")

8) If Jacque Jones has ten at bats this series against Brandon Webb, he will strike out at least seven times.

9) Note to self: the Rockies are in the National League.

10) Fans are gonna start swinging from the Red Sox cajones (Beckett shutout + Ortiz homer). I'm not sold. It’s a long month.

11) I thought scientists had only cloned sheep. Somebody notify the world they’ve also cloned Matsuis.

12) Regarding Dbacks closer Jose Valverde I have two words: tengo miedo.