Signs Your FF Team Blows Chunks.....

I was talking with Oil Can the other day about the forthcoming demise of his fantasy football team. He pleaded ignorance, citing the dependability of his three good players. First of all, if you only have three good players (in a 10-team league) the sky can’t be too rosy. Then, after reexamining his squad, I chuckled some more and created the list below.

You know your FF team blows chunks if:

1) One of your three good players is a TE.

2) You’re counting on Cedric Benson, Maurice Jones-Drew, or Thomas Jones in any capacity.

3) You’re still eating Michael Vick’s Alpo.

4) You drafted Reggie Brown, Darrel Jackson, and/or Lee Evans under the impression that they were wide receivers, not types of ectoplasm.

5) You have a double-digit lead in waiver wire transactions.

6) The QB you drafted has a first name which ends in “ex.”

7) You’re on the verge of deporting your 3rd, 4th, 6th, and 7th round draft picks because (a la Scarface) their wombs are so damn polluted.

8) You have four decent wide receivers, but at least one of them (whomever you start), puts up a goose egg every week.

9) Your girlfriend called to tell you she’s pregnant, and Travis Henry is the baby’s daddy (which also explains her killer stash of chronic). Despite this reality, you’re hoping Henry doesn’t get suspended for violating the league’s drug policy because your FF season would be over.

10) If you’re reading this unsure as to whether your team blows chunks, take it to the bank, it does.