Josh Beckett, Jesus Christ, and Erin Andrews: Trip Aces

1) Credit where credit is due. Josh Beckett was spectacular tonight. A classic October performance from a man who was ultra-determined. In truth, I wouldn’t be surprised if Beckett wrote the following note to his BoSox teammates before the game:

“Listen up you worthless cart donkeys. I’m going to single-handedly make sure we win this game. I’ll be throwing 98 mph fastballs, change ups in the dirt, and curve balls that would make K-Rod blush. If you score any runs for us, we win. Make it so. Yours, JB.”

Thanks to Beckett's brilliance, the series now heads back to Boston. Fox has to be uber relieved. Broncos/Browns...I mean Rockies/Indians...doesn’t exactly sizzle the Nielsen bacon.

2) Was anyone else caught off guard by the 6th gear prayer session at this year’s final table of the World Series of Poker (WSOP)? In particular Jerry Yang, the eventual champion, was getting his Jesus on. Whenever a big hand came up, Yang would kiss his family picture and then crank out some heartfelt praises in a northerly direction.

First things first, if JC is gonna make a cameo, do you really think it’s gonna be in Vegas?!?! Isn’t there an addendum to the Ten Commandments which guarantees that requests of the Lord will be denied in Nevada? Besides, if the Almighty was inside Vegas' city limits, it would obviously be for the seafood buffet at the Rio.

But if by some ungodly chance (perhaps a poor choice of words) he/she/it does come tableside at the WSOP, I'm guessing it won't be to make a lousy pair of pocket 8s stand up. Personally, I've got the Big Man pegged as the type of guy who delivers runner-runner (K clubs, A clubs) to fill up a royal flush -- with a little thunder cracking in the background for good measure as Mike Matusow reaches for the defibrillator.

Anything less has gotta be a poor utilization of his time.

3) Last but not least (!): is it me or is Erin Andrews’ rack getting bigger?

Questions like this beg for due diligence (remind me to send YouTube a cookie). And after an afternoon spent “researching the issue," I’m pleased to announce that Andrews’ earnings will beat the street’s expectations: net assets, in the form of cup size, are increasing.

Also, the Deporters’ chief economist and principal equity analyst, Silk Nightie, has issued a “strong buy” for Andrews with a correlated “outperform” in relation to her sector competitors. Rumors are also afloat, speculating that Andrews could be an acquisition target in the coming months – more ammo for bullish investors. The Deporters’ parent company is currently crunching the numbers, actively pursuing the deal.

In short, put this bellwether in your portfolio and don't sell her until the Cubs win a World Series. At that point the world will be inverted, and rash actions may be warranted.